I have been in the information technology field since before it was cool, and for the entire time it was cool, and now that it’s no longer cool I’m switching to software development. I know what you’re saying, that software development is no longer cool, but the part of it that I’m going to be doing has only recently become cool. No, it’s not social networking. No, it’s not Web 2.0. No, it’s not–hey, leave me alone! The point is I’m switching jobs after a really long time.

So yesterday, I came in to inspect my new cubicle, and found that they hadn’t built it yet–it was only two walls. Despite the fact that I checked several times during the day, no progress happened until I gave up and stopped checking, after which the phone person came to inform me that it was all done. So, I grabbed a cart and hauled my old computer to my new cube and set it up alongside my new computer. In the process of setting my stuff up, I discovered my new cube is directly adjacent to a Loud Phone Talker, who appears to be on the phone ALL THE TIME. For the last eleven years, I’ve sat across from a Loud Phone Talker, but because he was across the aisle, there was a good 20 feet between me and his Loud Phone Talking. The new Loud Phone Talker might as well be sitting on my lap, apparently dictating an Excel spreadsheet over the phone. What’s worse, he occasionally stands up so that he can pace back and forth on his wireless headset and project his voice over the cube wall. I tried glaring at him while he was standing up, but I don’t think he understood.

At this point I’m considering my options:

1. Ask him politely to speak more quietly.
2. Line my walls with some sort of sound-blocking material.
3. Sneak into his cube at night and wire up a taser to his headset.
4. Wait until he’s on an the phone with his wife, and ask him if the gonorrhea cleared up.
5. Run him over in the parking lot.
6. Buy myself some kickass new headphones and block him out with MP3s.

The jury is still out, I’ll weigh my options.