If you meet Tara, one of the first things she usually says is “I’ll get big for gum!” You’ll nod and smile and then look at me and wonder how many Chinese-made lead-coated toys I’ve been feeding this child. I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know that Tara can’t wait to grow up. She hears “that’s not for Tara” many times a day. She watches her sister do things she’s not allowed to do, and she can’t wait until she’s old enough to chew gum, use scissors, drive a car, use the computer, take pictures, write with an ink pen, and eat peanut butter. Of course, I don’t ever want her to grow up, but when we do finally let her chew gum, I’m going to have the camcorder out for damn sure.

You’ve probably seen this elf yourself business before, but I contend that Anna and Tara are cuter and more funny than those others.